Fragment II

What are you to me but a ray of light?
A crystalline mirror,
A serene lake that reflects the beauty of the full moon,
The beautiful red sky at dusk?

What are you to me but a thunder clash?
Violent light erupts into sound; euphoria,
A raging storm that tears the trees from the ground
That tears my heart out.

The beautiful and the terrible reside in you
Like the serene lake that houses a million primitive beasts;
A soft lullaby on the wind,
The screams of fallen soldiers on the battlefield,
Alike to your history; light and dark.

My heart and soul reach out to you;
I tell myself I’ll find you,
You’ll find me.
But then, I feel nothing;
You don’t answer me.
And, again, I fall into silence.

July 28, 2013

© Mira Ali

Quote I

“He is the true enchanter, whose spell operates, not upon the senses, but upon the imagination and the heart.” ~ Washington Irving

What do you think? Is not that a perfect description of Lucifer?

Fragment I

Lord of wind and sand
Come take my hand
Come guide me to your realm;
An eternity in motion.

Lord of fire and stars
Come mend my broken heart and soul
Come make me whole.
Let me understand.

Lord of my mind, my heart, my soul
God of my all
Listen to my prayer
Answer my call.

Let my blood run,
Let my life be spent
Let me cease to exit;
A sacrifice upon your alter.

August 01, 2013

© Mira Ali

Thought fragment

First of all, I must apologize for the long disappearance but when you live in a country with such political turmoil as it is the case for me, sometimes your plans collapse along with whatever dreams you might ever had!

Lately I could not help but ponder the ever existing phenomena that, always in the name of God men can do the worst possible crimes. I mean, take for example Egypt, that is where I am now. The country had its share of troubles before all the chaos of January 2011. Being a third-world country meant: political corruption, abuse of authority, high rates of unemployment, shitty education and whole list of developmental and human-rights related problems. But what it did not have was a religious divide between the different sects of society. I admit, religion was always used to monopolize the public opinion in certain cases, but what I mean is, the government was never a religious one and that was a relief in and of itself! Not anymore though!

I still wonder today, after more than one year since the last presidential elections, how a group of terrorists that goes by the name of Muslim Brotherhood managed to win the presidency and not only that; a few months earlier they also managed to claim the majority of the seats in the Egyptian Parliament!!!

How did the country, almost overnight, became such a fanatic one? How did they manage to brainwash so many people?!

And again, history proves that organized religion destroys and never builds! Hundreds of crimes was committed just in the past few months in the name of God! It became such a common thing to spill the blood of your neighbour just because he believes differently than you. And even now, after they have been overthrown and the military controls the country (which is a catastrophe in itself), the Brotherhood and its followers are still trying to throw the country into more chaos!

Though, what I truly fear, is when the time comes for another round of elections, people would have forgotten all these atrocities and they would again choose a religious faction to govern the country!

When will this stop? When are the people going to understand that to fight in the name of a God is to spill blood in vain?! When will human life become the precious thing it is? When will it be respected as such? When will we stop judging others and actually respect our differences?!

I think, I have been judgmental in my own way when I talk about the Muslim Brotherhood, but, in truth, I do not condone killing them or using violence against them. But their influence on society needs to be eliminated!

I am sorry for my insane post. I know it has really nothing to do with Luciferianism; but I needed to speak my mind for a few minutes!

In The Beginning

Well, where should I start?

Normally, the beginning is a very good starting point. But, what happens when you can’t really place when you first had an idea or believed in something?

I’ve been trying to trace when, exactly, I have started to think about Lucifer in a different way than that shoved down my throat in school, at home and even society at large. But, to this very moment I can’t place that defining moment in my life.

My earliest memory of Him is when I was a child of less than 8 years, with my teachers and parents telling me that I should never let Satan (or Shaitan, as he’s called in Islam; yes, I was born into a Muslim household) control my life. That I should fear him. That I should pray to God to protect me from him and guide me throughout my life. That Satan is evil, purely evil. Though, even at that young age, I couldn’t bring myself to fear or hate Him. I don’t know why! Of course I was intimidated; after all, He’s a very powerful being, and a mysterious one at that. Oh, I feared demons, jinn’s and all these monsters that children fear, but not Him. Maybe because I’ve never thought of Him as a monster or someone who seeks to hurt others without cause.

I started to ask questions about Him; what was his real name before the fall? Wasn’t he slightly justified in rejecting the order from God to kneel before Adam (at that age I didn’t know any other mythology but that in the Quran)? Isn’t it strange that God didn’t simply destroy Him when he disobeyed? Why would he guide Adam and Eve to the Tree of Life (in Quran it’s the Tree of life not knowledge, it gave immortality to those who eat from its fruit)? It can’t simply be out of spite! etc. Needless to say; I got no satisfying answers from any and was told it’s a ‘sin’ to ask such questions!

My second memory is maybe a bit more important. One day when I was 13, I entered a bookshop and encountered two books, Milton’s Paradise Lost and Dante’s Inferno (both where translated into Arabic) and then I discovered something new, almost sinful and delicious in its surprise to my childish mind; I’m not alone in thinking Lucifer a noble figure, or at least something more than others make Him to be. I knew a name for Him that I could utter without feeling that I’m insulting Him.

Yet, this was not the moment I shifted my believe to Him. He was my Hero but not my God. I still thought of Allah as my God and Father! Though, I never could pray to him, and in the few instances I tried, under the insistence of my family, I felt such despair. I felt like there was a tiny black hole in the core of my being that sucked my soul; I got depressed utterly. So, I stopped trying altogether. I even stopped thinking about God altogether. But no rejection yet of that ideal.

The next stage came when I was around 15 and I came to know the opinion of my supposed religion on the matters of women’s rights and homosexuality (yes, I’m lesbian). I’ve always felt that I don’t belong to that creed, and now, that was the moment I became sure of it. Why would I even try to belong to and appease a God who rejects those who he created?!  The proverbial straw came though when I was 17 and I started to question my existence and that of the whole of humanity. The misery of so many disadvantaged people. The famines and catastrophes that plague the world. What’s the logic behind all this? At that time, I disavowed the existence of any god altogether. I became a professed atheist.

There was one problem though, this was never my way; though I’ve rejected God at an early age, I’ve always been spiritual. So, I started exploring other faiths and paths; Christianity, Wicca, Neo-paganism, Druidry, Buddhism… and of course, there was always in the back of my mind this shinning being; Lucifer. He was always there, his lore continued to fascinate me throughout all these stages. Sometimes I regarded Him as simply an idea; a symbol for knowledge and truth, and even a little bit of pride ;) The Light-bearer!

At other times though, I believed in Him as real entity! I thought of calling to Him, but I felt undeserving and unsure; why would he answer me? Why bother with me? And how would I know that I haven’t lost my mind if he actually answered? And how to go about calling him in the first place?!

I started to write about Him in my poetry and journals; always the Prince who lost his rightful place; always the King of this World. I started giving him my devotion (he had always had my respect and love); started drawing strength from merely his name! And he came to represent ‘strength in the face of adversity’ to me. I don’t claim that I’ve ever had any contact with Him. Neither through dreams or any other medium. But, now, all I know is that He is my God.

So, maybe this was the start. That moment when I stopped the charade of being someone different than my true self. The moment when I started to understand that despite everything there’s a harmony in nature and the universe. The moment I believed that though life is miserable, I still can live it with grace; and I learned that lesson from Him.

So, now, my true journey starts; to know all that I can know about Lucifer, and maybe afterwards I’ll have the courage to call out to Him. Maybe He’ll answer me then!

I’ve been following an amazing blog lately (http://omourningstar.wordpress.com/) and in one of it’s latest post, Sulphur Blue, it’s author, recommended me some books about His lore and the lore of the angels in general (you can see the post here: http://omourningstar.wordpress.com/2013/07/30/be-not-afeard/) I intend to get cracking and actually re-read those I’ve read in the past and discover the new ones. The next posts will be about them mainly, what each book might elicit in my heart.

I apologize for the length of this post; I just needed to examine where Lucifer appeared first in my life in one go. I also apologize for any spelling or grammar mistakes; I’m sure you figured by now that I’m not native :D